Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Motherhood and all that Jazz

When my kulli was born, I had decided that the coveted crown of "worlds best mom", which lay unclaimed all these centuries will be won by me. I made resolutions that I will never shout at my child, never hit her etc.Then came the reality from the day one.My daughter was colicky, never slept until 3am till a year old. And hence that resulted in a ever cranky mother that is me. I fed her only at 3 hour interval as directed by the doctor, read her books and in general concentrated all my time on doing it the right way. But my daughter the monster grew up and she had a mind of her own. The first time I yelled at her I cried myself to sleep. Then I went back to work, she went to day care. Cooking, cleaning, and kulli frequently falling sick made me a wreck. Around this time she was 2 yrs and she started getting naughty and throwing unreasonable tantrums.I do not exactly remember when, but she started getting light pats on her bum, every now and then. And now I know how that "Best mom" crown has slipped away from me.Becoz I am the Real mom. I do get angry, I do shout and spank my child.I have my ups and downs in a day, and I hate to admit that.

Now with the second one, my kulla who is 5 month old things have changed.There is no fixed timetable.He has to work around his sister's routine.He is not read, nor fed every 3 hours. He is fed when he asks for.He is dragged along everywhere,including schools for which his sister was called for observation. I put him in a pram and take him out when kulli goes out to play.So far so good(touch wood).I guess with second one my obsession to be a textbook parent is gone. I go with the flow and stopped aiming for perfection.