Tuesday, July 5, 2011

What do you call your husband

The other day I was chatting with my neighbor, and her phone rang, she said oh Appa has called and she ran to pick up the phone.Now this lady is around 40 so, I casually inquired how is her father doing , for which she replied that her dad has passed away long time back.I was surprised but then thought she has a father figure among her relative whom she might be calling Appa. But after sometime while we were still chatting in the play area her husband's car entered the complex and she said oh Appa has come , will have to make coffee.I then realized that she was addressing her husband as Appa.I was surprised and found it extremely funny that a wife calling her husband as Appa.I am curious as to whether her husband address her as Amma ;).
Now I have grown up on a rich diet of Hindi movies.And there the hero's mother always has to address her husband as "hero  ke bapu suniye..."Blah I wonder what she was calling her husband before our hero was born.I believe it is our custom not to take husband's name, I wonder why and how was it originated.I am just guessing if it has its origin  in olden days due to child marriage, when the husband was much much older to his wife.Even then I wonder ,how the poor wife would refer to him in public before her child's birth.
In Kannada husband is most of the time referred to  as Yajamana.That means  the owner.For example If I was chatting with my neighbor and spot my husband entering the gate, then I have to say to her as my Yajamana has come I will have to go.I am really angry with this term of our language why is my husband referred to as my owner, am I his cow or goat.Anyways in India "pati parameshwar hota hai".
I was watching Friends sitcom the other day.In a particular episode Ross and Ratchel say to Feebie that they are calling each other Mommy and Daddy, so that their child Emma  picks it up soon.I think thats the logic my neighbors also used but then soon fell into the habit of calling each other Appa and Amma.
I address my husband by his name, so should I be worried that my kids also will do the same.Am I not intelligent enough to teach my kids to call him Appa. if not then god save my child from me:)


  1. Ha ha! True... i too have seen a lady calling her husband Appa, they have kids older than me... and every time it leaves me wondering what she used to call her husband before the kids were born...

    Well, i think it should be easier and saner to correct the kid to call the father and mother right, rather than the parents changing their way 'for the kids'!

  2. LOL..good one and i so agree with you on the yajamana part.

  3. @ Sum,
    Everything is kid centric in this world.
    PP, u still dont know me? I thought by now you would have guessed who I am.